I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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