It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
