Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
