I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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