Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
