if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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