i think i have herpe
just one?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
