do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
