I think my fart just growled at me.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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