I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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