You work out of a Hotel?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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