Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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