the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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