It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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