The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
