Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
