If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
