I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
