Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
