dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
