another moral hangover. fuck.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
