First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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