so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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