You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
