With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
