I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
