i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
