Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
