u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
