did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
