I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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