I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
