just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
