is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
