yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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