i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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