we have officially lost it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
