So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
