Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
