I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
