CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
