Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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