If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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