Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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