you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
