watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
