is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
