he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
