I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
