Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
