What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
