I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How does one acquire holy water?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
