Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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