D3 body, D1 cock
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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