these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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