If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
God I need to hump something, right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
